In my late teens/early twenties, I developed an eating disorder. It’s something I’ve very open about now because overcoming it has made me so passionate about what I do now as a health & lifestyle coach! My disorder was in large part a result of emotional eating and control. I would use food to appease my moods, and when I “felt” any kind of way – sad, happy, mad, celebratory – I would either console myself with food or reward myself with food and then I would feel guilty about it.
It set me up for a vicious cycle of constant yo-yo weight gaining, body dysmorphia, and an unhealthy relationship with food which continued to result in more emotional eating.
But then one day I decided I couldn’t continue like that and something needed to change. I NEEDED to change.
Maybe yours isn’t as severe as mine, but I know that TOO many people suffer and struggle through this in silence.
I want to assure you that you can and you will stop this cycle if you learn a few simple tools.
Let’s first dive into how you know if you’re eating for emotional reasons. Try this self-test. Answer each of the following five questions with a simple “yes” or “no.”
- Do you eat between meals even when you’re not physically hungry?
- If you eat between meals, are you eating on auto-pilot (mindlessly and without complete awareness and attention to what you’re actually doing)?
- When something upsetting happens, do you reach for the nearest bag of cookies or chips to make yourself feel better?
- Do you fantasize about foods that are your special “treats” such as chocolate cake or kettle chips?
- When you eat these treats, do you hide out and eat them by yourself because you’re embarrassed to eat them in front of others?
If you answered “yes” to more than two of the above, you may be an emotional eater. When you want to eat when you’re not physically hungry, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:
- What am I feeling and why?
- What do I really need besides food right now? (Hint: It’s often rest or a break from what you’re doing)
The healthy alternatives offered below may help you begin to escape the cycle.
3 Most Common Emotions that can Lead to Emotional Eating
Sadness, anxiety, and anger are commonly the three emotional states that most often cause someone to emotionally eat. However, I was someone who also would eat to celebrate (hello, birthday cake), or eat because I was bored (mindless snacking while watching TV), OR to reward myself (“I just worked a 12-hour night shift, so I earned this all-American slam breakfast or doughnuts on my way home from work”), but when it comes to patterns of emotional eating, I have found it stems most from sadness, anxiety, or anger.
Sad Eating
Nothing soothes sadness better than a pint of our favorite ice cream, am I right? Well, that’s what I used to think. But, for me, indulging in the pint only ever traded my sadness for guilt. The act of eating a treat would momentarily make me “forget” or be happier, but then my familiar friends guilt and regret swept in and wham-0, I was worse off then when I started.
Here are a few healthy alternatives to eating your sadness:
Express yourself. Get whatever is causing your sadness off your chest by talking about it with someone you trust. If nobody is available to talk, try journaling your feelings. The act of writing has always provided me with a cathartic release from the emotions.
Get moving. I call this changing my physical state. Ever been in a bad mood and then your favorite upbeat song comes on the radio and after you jam out to it, your craptastic mood has been magically elevated? You can give your sadness a one-two punch if you shake what your mama gave ya! If you’re REALLY wanting to crush it, get your heart rate up with some exercise. A walk around the block or a quick 30-minute workout from home can be straight up MAGICAL! I have a library of over 700 workouts that I have available anytime day or night that I can do from home. Exercise is PROVEN to boost the release of our “feel-good” hormone in our brains!
Give yourself permission to feel it and let it out. Sometimes we just legit need a good cry. So GO FOR IT. Light some candles, take a hot bath, listen to sad music, and cry until you run out of tears. Sometimes just giving yourself permission to feel sad will help you get over it.
Bottom line: pick a constructive way to emote that’s not eating!
Stress Eating
Oh… this one and I go waaaaaaaay back. As a recovering perfectionist and control freak, I can work myself up into an anxious, stress-induced panic attack with the best of them!
Food for me was a go-to way to find my stress or anxiety release. It’s been proven that intake of large amounts of food releases our “feel good” hormone. So we feel full and more relaxed when we overeat. Specifically, with foods that are high in fat, sugar, or both.
Here are a few ideas of healthy alternatives to manage anxiety/stress WITHOUT emotional eating:
Stick to a regular and healthy sleep routine. Not getting enough sleep heavily taxes your brain and your body. If you’re sleep-deprived, you are inflicting more stress on your mind and body AND making it more challenging on yourself to recover from the stress of your lifestyle. Also, not sleeping well has been shown to result in making more poor food choices.
Do something relaxing and calming. We all have different ways of relaxing. For me if I’m stressed or feeling anxious, I know it’s time for me to get outside. I can head to the beach for a barefoot walk in the sand, a dip in the ocean, or take a hike. Being in nature soothes my soul. My other go-to is taking a yoga class or singing.
Where can you go that allows your mind and body to find peace? The next time you feel stressed and anxious and instinctively desire to turn to food, resist the urge to run to the cupboard or fridge. Instead, retreat to an activity that calms you. Consider trying yoga or mediation (I adore Mediation Minis Podcast by Chel Hamilton) or even just pause for a moment to take some deep breaths.
Angry Eating
Oh, angry eating, how I don’t miss you! I found this one probably the easiest to let go of, but nonetheless, it took me coming to the realization that by stuffing down with food, I was really just stuffing my anger down and not dealing with it in a healthy way. Which meant that inevitably it was going to resurface unless I took the time to deal with it.
Here are some healthy alternatives to angry eating:
One way to get out of the angry eating trap is to delay eating (this was what I found most effective). Take 10 minutes. You’ll be triggered and the best thing I found was to walk away from the situation and away from food. I would then take a deep breath and tune into what I was really feeling.
It also helps to ask yourself the following questions and patiently work your way through the answers:
- What happened that I allowed to make me so angry?
- Why did that event stir up angry feelings?
- What is GOOD about what angered me? (changing your perspective can dramatically shift what thoughts and feelings you’re attaching to that event)
- What can I learn from what made me angry?
- Will what made me angry really matter in 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week, or 1 year from now?
- What do I need to do in order to let go of this anger and feel peaceful?
I had to write these out in a note on my phone and practice answering them when I would get angry. But it has been a game changer in my life. Not just from emotional angry eating, but also in just being able to deal with my anger.
The seeing the “good” that could come out of something that angered me was legit life changing. Here’s an example. I used to get so angry at traffic. When people would cut me off, drive irresponsibly, or when I’d be stuck in traffic it infuriated me.
So when I would take a beat and ask myself what good could come from being stuck in traffic, I found different answers. I could be stuck in traffic and it would give me time to just talk to my daughter in the back seat, and REALLY listen to her discuss her day. Or if I was alone I could pop in one of my audiobooks and have some “me” time to listen to something I wanted to hear.
The other thing I would ask myself is what can I learn from what is angering me. Which in that circumstance leave earlier (so I didn’t mind so much being stuck!).
And lastly. when angry I always ask myself in 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week, 1 year will what I’m angry about REALLY matter or impact my life? Typically this one is fantastic for squashing any angry feelings and letting them go.
Bottom line: we get what we focus on, and if we fixate on the negative outcomes or the anger itself we will only perpetuate more of what we don’t want (tweet this!). So flip the script and think of positives that can come out of less desirable situations. IT WORKS!
I hope these ideas and tips help you as they have helped me. But I know that this is for sure a journey and requires work and help. I have an INCREDIBLE Mindful Nourishment Community where I share and walk you through an entire program dedicated to helping you change the way you look at food, your body, and weight loss.
There is no calorie counting, cutting out food groups, restriction, or deprivation. Even exercise is considered “extra credit,” so you don’t need to work out.
If you’d like info and to learn more CLICK HERE and let’s connect so I can learn more about you and provide you with the details.
CLICK HERE ==> Mindful Nourishment WORKSHOP
